Seriously though... Srslythough @ gmail dot com.

Get your ass to lunch now.  You know I can’t leave for lunch until you get back and yet you still continue to leave late and take at least an hour and a half.  Gee, can’t imagine why I end up in a pissy mood in the afternoons.  Maybe it’s because I don’t leave for lunch until 2:00.  My blood sugar and workplace tolerance are extremely low at this moment; hence, you suck.

Sincerely, Erin 

Update: She just left for lunch.  It’s 12:56pm.